I often hear Christians (myself included) quote Ephesians 3:20:
“Now to Him who is able to do infinitely more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.”
It’s a great verse of encouragement when I’m walking through a stormy season. During these hard times I find it’s easy to focus on the BIGNESS of God. God is big enough to heal Chris. He’s big enough to provide for our family; big enough to give the wisdom we desperately need. God is big enough to open doors for us and big enough to provide peace which passes all understanding. He’s big enough for miracles and big enough to make the impossible possible. Over and over I pray about my needing God’s ‘bigness’ and often share with others just how big He really is. While I don’t always know IF, WHEN, or HOW God will choose to answer one of my many prayers, His ‘bigness’ is rarely questioned.
What occurred to me this morning driving to the hospital is that most of my relationship with God is centered around my ever-growing list of needs, not Him. I realized that I’m seeking my needs to be met, rather than seeking the “Meeter” of the needs. If God chose to not answer any more prayers, would He still be enough for me?
Am I seeking what I want from God more than I’m seeking God?
If God chose to never heal Chris, that today was as healthy as Chris will ever be, would I STILL pray and praise God? If God chose to not provide for our family nor open any doors for us, would I STILL seek Him? If God chose to not bless us with anything else until the day we join Him in heaven, is He enough? Has what He has ALREADY done through the shedding of His blood for my sins enough for me?
Being completely honest, I began to wonder if my relationship was more about what I think God will someday do for me rather than knowing and worshiping Him. Do I spend time with God to keep my proverbial foot in the door with Him or am I spending time with Him because I want to get to know Him better?
This realization hit me hard. I think the naked truth usually does. I realized that while I’d like to think God saving me from my sins is enough, in reality, I don’t think I think that way. I know my actions don’t reflect that. At the core of my prayers and pleadings are what I think, eventually, God will do for me.
I realized I spend very little time trying to know more about His nature because I value Him. The time I spend studying His word is for my benefit not simply to draw closer to Him.
I realized that I have so much heart work still to do. I want to seek God and draw closer to Him because of who He is, not because of what He can do for me. I want God to be enough even if our lives never change or improve. I want to have joy and peace in who God is not in what He has done for me.
Before your next quiet time, I want to challenge you to examine how your spending your time with God. If God never answers your requests and never blesses you with anything more than what you have today, is that enough? Is He enough for you? Are you seeking Him for your answered prayers, or are you just seeking Him? If your storm never improves or changes, is God still enough?