Two years ago I felt God clearly calling me in a different direction, and I am today more convinced than ever of His hand at work in my life. Has my journey looked like I thought it would? Absolutely not. Have I had the outward success and tangible results I thought would have happened so easily two years ago? Absolutely not. Has my faith wavered; have I struggled; has it been difficult on myself and my family? Absolutely.
Has it been worth it? ABSOLUTELY! Would I trade any of it or go back to how things were before? Not a chance.
When God calls you, he is VERY clear that He wants you to ‘count the cost’ before you decide to pick up your cross and follow Him. God doesn’t want you to come because of heightened emotions, but rather He wants you to make a decisive, eyes completely open, decision. Twice, when I prayed about making serious changes in my life and the life of my family, I felt God respond back: “How serious are you?”
“How serious are you” is a question that requires reflection and time to think through completely-it requires counting the cost. If my agreeing to follow Christ leads me to difficult days financially, emotionally, mentally, physically-am I STILL sure it’s ‘worth it’? If my agreeing to follow Christ impacts the lives of my kids, my husband, my extended family-is it still ‘worth it’? If my agreeing to follow Christ looks a lot like death and sickness and 100+ days in a hospital room, is it still ‘worth it’? Am I still serious that WHATEVER the cost, I will TRUST Him to work WHATEVER my situation for MY good and the good of my family and that He will use it to bring Him glory-is it ‘worth’ all of that?
My answer both times have been YES. Even now, even in our current situation, there is SO much peace on the hard days because I have NO DOUBT that God is with us in this storm, and He IS at work to use ALL of this for our good and His glory. What the future holds-I have no idea, but there’s so much peace in resting in the knowledge that I don’t NEED to know because I TRUST the one who does.
Is following Him and trusting Him easy? Simultaneously yes and no.
We struggle in grasping and trusting the simplicity of His plan for us. We struggle in trusting that if God has a specific job planned for our life or a specific action or place He wants us to do or go that He REALLY WILL make HIS WILL KNOWN to us. God PROMISES that His sheep KNOW and HEAR His voice. Sometimes it’s through closed doors; sometimes through changed situations; sometimes through changed feelings. Sometimes it’s through sound advice from a trusted friend. But ultimately, God is VERY clear that if we do OUR part in CONSISTENTLY spending time with Him then we CAN trust that He will do His part in ‘directing our steps.’
Whatever your walking through-whatever decisions your facing-you can trust that if you will spend time with God and reading His word then He WILL direct your steps-whether you ‘feel’ it or not. Trust me on this one. I’ve seen God slam doors shut that were wide open and keep doors wide open that I kept trying to shut.